The Bengals should trade Chad Johnson to a team that already has a No. 85.

With the news that Chad Johnson's name change is complete, the mercurial wide receiver is now legally known as Chad Ocho Cinco. And in keeping with Johnson -- and now Ocho Cinco's -- earlier trade requests, the Bengals should trade him to a team that already has a No. 85.

Frankly, there isn't enough pettiness in sports, and the bottom line is that Cinco can buy the number from just about any player out there. It would be a publicity coup for all involved. It would move a disgruntled player to a club where he could be gruntled. The Bengals would finally get closure, along with a first-round pick.

And, you know, it'd be pretty damned hilarious to see Ocho Cinco wearing No. 82.